Challenge Number 1

[sapphiresmoke]

Here's your challenge:
Write a poem on this painting.



There is no length requirement. The deadline is March 10th. The poems may be posted here. Have at it!

[Endovia]

I tried the link but it says access is forbidden.

[sapphiresmoke]

Hmph. It worked earlier. I'll just put the picture there instead.

[Endovia]

Oh, wow. That's a beautiful painting.

[sapphiresmoke]

I know, isn't it? I found it on Google, hehe.
Let's see if it inspires any brilliance from us.

[Axle]

I watch the news;

pictures of desolation running through my eyes, filling my head with thought not worthy of the effort.

Frozen and numb, the world sees nothing.

We dare not speak the very words that would free us.

Through scars of hate we feel no pain, apathy our morphine.

No one cries out in repentance anymore, for right and wrong bleed together now.

In this world of only gray, moral ambiguity. God looks upon His children, no tears left.

We have no tears save our first, the rest we borrow from the saints and angels.

Okay peoples, this is my first stab at poetry. Please be gentle when you critique.

[sapphiresmoke]

Thanks, Axle.
We'll all give comments on March 10th, when all the poems are in.

[sapphiresmoke]

The Watcher


A frozen waste
Torn by bleeding hearts
A scar across the sky
The wizened Watcher
Waiting patiently
As ancient memories die
The past a fading myth

Children laughed then
Swinging and climbing
Sharing the first fruits of Spring
As the Watcher looked on
Gently smiling down
Their innocence lifeblood
The Watcher thrived

Echoes from long ago
The children grew
And left the Watcher alone
Their innocence turned
To adult importance
No more to laugh and dance
Beneath the cerulean sky

An invisible tear
Dropping to the snow
One last gift to give
Branches for firewood
Sap for nourishment
Life for life

The ancient Watcher gone
No trace left behind
But a print on the snow
The land left empty and alone
A frozen waste
Torn by bleeding hearts
A scar across the sky

[sapphiresmoke]

Four days left! Don't let Axle and I be the only ones who wrote anything!

[~Beauty~]

I'm submitting mine tomorrow!

[sapphiresmoke]

Better post quick, Beauty... Deadline's today.

[~Beauty~]

I see three lives
Separated by one simple choice
Defined by what was gained
Tortured by what was lost

The first life bathes in the light or glory
She said yes instead of no
Though sometimes she cries at night
For she is forever alone

The second lives on the streets
He is lost and not found
He never has felt alone
For God is on his side

The third life is different
She knows what went wrong
Instead of dwelling on the past
She reaches for the future

I saw three lives
Separated by their choices
Each deciding their path
Only one was willing to move on.

[sapphiresmoke]

Challenge 1 is over. Please comment on any/all poems.

[sapphiresmoke]

Axle - That's really beautiful, in a sad kind of way. I love the imagery. The rhythm was hard to follow, especially in the format you posted in. Try to even out the number of syllables, and maybe post in the typical poetry format, line by line. For a first try at poetry, that was wonderful! I'm curious, though... How did the painting inspire that theme from you?

Beauty - Very nicely done, as we usually see from you. The rhythm felt a little off, though. You started with one rhythm, then switched. Still followable (that's not a word, is it?), but a little awkward. I love how you tell three different stories in the one poem. Very much like the painting.

[~Beauty~]

haha thank you Sappire, eh I'm always a lil off! lol